I'm having some issues with food. I don't know too many adult women who don't wish something different about their body, especially their weight.
Since I've had too much time on my hands this summer (see previous post about Job agony). Stacey hit it on the nail when she said job agony= life agony! I seem to be encountering news about "health" and "weight" every where I turn which is forcing me to come to terms with my reality.
I've known for a long time that I fall in to the "apple" category and not the "pear" category. It was solidified for me today when listening to that show "The Doctors". They showed two women's bodies; the pear woman carried her weight around her hips, butt, and thighs, the apple lady carried all her weight in her stomach. They asked which body shape was healthier- and yes it was the pear. They talked about BMI- and any BMI above 25 is considered overweight. I am hovering right around 28 right now. What's deceiving about BMIs is that its based on your weight and height, but it doesn't take into consideration your amount of muscle. A couple years ago (when I probably weighed five pounds less) I had a good go-around with my doctor telling her that I was healthier if my BMI was slightly above the magic 25 number because I lifted a lot and had a lot of muscle. One of the "doctors" mentioned that specifically today. So, okay if my BMI is a little high and I have a lot of muscle that's ok. But I know I'm overweight.
Since I've had too much time on my hands this summer (see previous post about Job agony). Stacey hit it on the nail when she said job agony= life agony! I seem to be encountering news about "health" and "weight" every where I turn which is forcing me to come to terms with my reality.
I've known for a long time that I fall in to the "apple" category and not the "pear" category. It was solidified for me today when listening to that show "The Doctors". They showed two women's bodies; the pear woman carried her weight around her hips, butt, and thighs, the apple lady carried all her weight in her stomach. They asked which body shape was healthier- and yes it was the pear. They talked about BMI- and any BMI above 25 is considered overweight. I am hovering right around 28 right now. What's deceiving about BMIs is that its based on your weight and height, but it doesn't take into consideration your amount of muscle. A couple years ago (when I probably weighed five pounds less) I had a good go-around with my doctor telling her that I was healthier if my BMI was slightly above the magic 25 number because I lifted a lot and had a lot of muscle. One of the "doctors" mentioned that specifically today. So, okay if my BMI is a little high and I have a lot of muscle that's ok. But I know I'm overweight.
I put on between 3-5 lbs every year. I can't keep doing this.
Everything about being an apple is bad, bad, bad. Carrying all your weight around your middle leads to like everything bad imaginable.
Now the other problem is that I know I am fighting genetics. Remember my trip to the beach with my mom and sister, well seeing them in bathing suits is just a reminder that we are all "apples". My sister and I have rolls in the exact same places. My stomach has always been my "problem" area. I can remember all the way back to high school and early college when I was till pretty thin, that I never had washboard abs. Both my siblings have have issues with High Triglycerides, my brother is pre diabetic, and my sister just went on meds for high blood pressure. Probably at least in part to the fact that we are all apples.
I'm suddenly freaked
I've started tracking my calories on my Itouch. This has been very eye opening. It allows me to search restaurants and I'm pretty horrified to find out how many calories are in many things. Case in point- Panera. I'm a Panera junky, plain and simple. I usually eat their at least once a week. One of my favorite things to eat- a simple tuna fish sandwich. Guess how many calories in the tuna sandwich? 720.....720!!!! I'll be sticking with the half size choice when I eventually return there. (Seriously for the amount of time I spent there I'm surprised they haven't put out an A.P.B. looking for me!)
When I can follow a really strict plan, and basically always eat at home, I do ok. When I have to go out, it all falls apart. I have such issues with will power. It's the late at night that kills me. I have to turn often to gum to get me through the witching hours where for no reason I start to eat a whole box of croutons!
I've been avoiding going to the doctor, which isn't usually like me. I keep telling myself I want to lose some weight before I go so I don't get a lecture- but who am I kidding. I should just accept my fate and take my scolding. And if I get blood work done and I am meant to suffer the fates of my siblings maybe the truth of that will finally be the real wake-up call!
4 comments:
Alright, here's the deal. your worst day is still my dream day in terms of weight. the most of you have EVER weighed is still miles away from where I'm trying to get TO in the first place. So, while that may not make you feel entirely better, it can at least put things into perspective. I would encourage you to go to your doctors because you will probably receive affirmation about all the other aspects of your health, i.e. cholesterol, sugar levels, blood pressure, etc. I think you look great, but you are the one who needs to feel good about yourself so i won't replace my opinion for your own. i know how hard it is and i know how hard you work when you are "on the wagon". I take this challenge on day by day and some days are great and some days are not so great, but if I can start having more and more good days, then i'm doing something right and headed in the right direction. Just breathe and take it one day at a time. We may have somewhat of a genetic uphill battle ahead of us, but genes aren't the boss of you!!!
Totally agree with Natalie - one day at a time. But kudos to you for expressing the guilt/frustration that many women feel about willpower and other reasons (ahem, excuses) that often keep us from moving forward with weight loss. I'm right there with you.
Apple all the way here! I'm back to my wedding weight but have a lot to still go...I need to be better about exercise on my end and less wine. But I do love my Pinot Grigio!!
I'm a pear here, but a plump one. I don't know what this means for my health overall, but I know I struggle with food every single day, have since I was a small kid (small? I guess I was once). I'm trying really hard to be on the wagon right now - it's just a bit depressing when you know that it's not really "right now," it really should be "forever."
But this is my rant-y, all-about-me way of saying, go Helen! I wish wonderful will-power and good health to you!
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